This is a poop story. I hope you can relate.
We've all been there (right?). You walk in to see your sweet baby holding out their arms to you first thing in the morning...
And then it hits you.
The new wall design (smears) that weren't there last night.
Ah yes. Poop everywhere. Joy.
So after the first bath (keyword: FIRST) I gave her breakfast as I began dousing her room in clorox wipes. Anyone else ever wished for a hose attachment that sprayed bleach when setting a room on fire and rebuilding would be easier than cleaning?
As I scrubbed, she squeezed the jam out of her breakfast bar all over her arms and face.
After I cleaned THAT up (sweet Lord!), she found a marker and drew all over herself, and then the tube of toothpaste I didn't notice on the bathroom floor.
Look, I watch my kids, just like you. But sometimes these punks are faster than me, especially when I'm pregnant and tired.
All of this happened before 10 am.
And my feelings started at sheer panic...
"omg I have THIS kid... how many more times will this happen... it's too early to potty train... shit shit shit!!"
Grew to frustration...
"Why can't she just be calm? Why is she into everything? Why isn't she more like her brother?"
And then I landed in hysterical laughter.
Because by the time the marker and toothpaste showed up, I realized I have no control. This is just who she is. She is unexpectedly wonderful and makes me laugh so hard. She's happy. She's curious. She wants to try everything, and other than poop everywhere, none of this is dangerous.
These are all skills I want her to have and don't wish to squash them out of her.
Yeah she's the total opposite of my other kid (who is momentarily predictable and follows rules), but trying to get her to be like that is a total waste of energy.
Its easier for me to have a compliant child.
Do I really want to raise a compliant adult?
We MUST allow our kids to be whoever they are NO MATTER WHAT.
They're weird, quirky and into things you're not? GOOD!
I used to have the biggest fear I'd have a girl that would want to be a cheerleader and loved pink. I wouldn't be able to relate to the girliness, the volume, or the energy. It came to my attention that my preference doesn't matter. I don't get to SQUASH who she is for my own comfort.
It's time as parents that we learn to trust ourselves.
And allow your child's personality, desires, interests, and style to be out of your control.
Shift your perspective and find the GIFT that this is in your life.
Because smothering? Trying to change who they are? Or simply refusing to acknowledge them will eventually push them away.
This is our greatest fear as parents. Losing them forever.
But when we do these things (smothering, changing, ignoring their soul), we communicate they're not good enough and something is wrong with them.
We mean well, but deep down this is us trying to make ourselves comfortable.
So - HOW? How do we ALLOW?
(Especially when those behaviors or tendencies make us frustrated, annoyed, and inconvenienced?)
1. Recognize your kid is not YOU.
They might look like you. But they have their own purpose in this world, their own mind, values, and ideas. Start being OK with them being totally different from you.
2. Get a closer look.
Instead of judging and resisting what they're doing, do the opposite. Show interest. Find out more. Engage!
Cause here's the thing - the discomfort you feel is all about your shit, not them
Dressing differently (strangely, creatively)? LET THEM! Get curious about what they like and why.
Your girl likes football and your boy likes ballet? SO WHAT? What is your underlying issue with this? We think we're protecting them but the truth is we project our own fears and experiences onto them. It's a different world than it was then.
Shy, uncomfortable, unusual interests, hates new things? ASK QUESTIONS. Show interest instead of judgement. Resist the urge to change them.
Because before you can change anything, you need to meet your kid where they are. Not the other way around. Before you jump into what they "should" be, find the gift in who they already are.
(Maybe you need to learn something from them)
I know this can be tricky, trying to get your resistant child to expand their horizons and open up. This is good parenting, I promise! Your heart is in the RIGHT place.... because it's also not loving to allow them to zone out on video games and end up living in your basement for the next 30 years.
Which is why you need to get them into Superhero Art Camp .... like STAT.
What is it?
Six weeks of creative projects + mindset lessons to help your child overcome negative emotions.
The purpose of Superhero Art Camp is to help your anxious child find their innate gifts (their superpower!), and be whoever they want to be in the world.
We do this by guiding them through positive mindset-focused art projects and activities to learn about themselves and give them permission to embrace the gifts and talents they were born with.
So they can dream big and feel confident in who they are.
And when you feel confident in who you are...
- Fear shrinks
- Anxiety lessens
- They become braver
- You see them being more resilient
- They cant wait to try new things
- A love of learning grows
- They take on challenges
- They stand as leaders
- You can tell they feel proud of themselves
- And the big one: Calmness and happiness flood your home.
When we feel like we are allowed to be ourselves, and then we go BE ourselves, that happiness shows up.
(Kind of a no-brainer, right?)
What you get:
For kids -
1. Video lesson with the topic of the week
2. Printable pages with journaling prompts to help them think and process through the topic
3. Weekly art challenge to tie it all together in a hands-on creative experience
For Parents -
1. 6 weeks of power-packed live sessions for YOU on each weekly topic
2. Access to practical strategies, activities, resources, and support you can apply immediately
3. Access to a private Facebook community where I am available to answer your questions and troubleshoot on the spot
Topics we cover -
- Compassion (kindness + self love) for ourselves, others, animals and the world
- Grit & Resilience: Not giving up, believing in ourselves even when it seems impossible
- Gratitude: how thankfulness can change our attitudes when we feel frustrated
- Patience: Learning how to make mistakes, how waiting can be beneficial, and the super skills it gives us
- Confidence: What we like about ourselves and are good at already
- Problem solving: How to overcome hard things and brainstorm solutions that get us where we want to go
You get all of this life-changing material, my expertise, and a truckload of fun, creative resources for your child for just $597. (Payment options available!)
BONUSES! (aka free stuff):
1. I’m GIVING away the first module for FREE so you can get a handle on this life-changing material. Available to anyone, whether you join the camp or not.
Get the first module for FREE by simply clicking HERE.
2. Anyone that signs up by Friday (Aug 31st 11:59pm) also gets a FREE 1:1 coaching session with me. Together we troubleshoot and dig into what's going on specifically for you and your child at home. ($500 value)
What are you waiting for?
- Free stuff everywhere
- Try before you buy
- Less than $100 to get in
Email me HERE if you have any questions.
Here's that link again: Superhero Art Camp