February 10, 2017

Yes, Boundaries are Selfish. That’s the Point!

FILED IN: Uncategorized

 guilt, obligation, boundaries, confidence, self-care, business coaching, online business

Ever feel guilty for doing something you want to do?

  • You feel like you should give your partner more attention, but you’re focused on your business.

  • You’re out with the girls while the kids are home with a sitter or spouse.  

  • You treat yourself to your own vacation after years of meeting everyone else’s needs.

5 minutes of self-care use to rack me with guilt – like my role as a mother, wife, daughter, or simply female was compromised. Like I let them all down. 

We’re taught to play certain roles as women. We convince ourselves we need to fit into this box, and then we get mad when we’re stuck in a place we don’t like. 

The more you try and fit, squeeze and shimmy your ass into something that doesn’t work for you, the more you die inside because it goes against your very design. 


Instead of screwing the rules and thinking for myself….  I played the martyr and acted jealous of everyone who wasn’t saddled with my responsibilities.

Everything became an imposition, annoyed me, made me feel imprisoned when I wanted to feel important and appreciated for the sacrifices I was making.

So I kept giving and pleasing and bending over backward, hoping I would be seen by following the rules. 

The more I gave, the less I was respected. This was the opposite of what I wanted. 

It became a vicious cycle of exhaustion – trying to please, doing work I hated, and never getting a thank you. 

It’s easy to wonder what you’re doing wrong, why life isn’t satisfying, and why your business isn’t going anywhere. 

Warning: The ones who get what they want are the ones who break the status quo.

Which means: If you want to go bigger in business, quit letting everyone else tell you what to do. Take responsibility and own the life you’ve created.

Start saying no.

Do what you want. 

Be a little selfish. 

1. Set boundaries. Decide what they are and how they’ll help you keep your priorities at the top. 

2. Write them down. It’s easy to compromise with yourself when you don’t commit to it. 

3. Enforce them. Deciding to have boundaries is great. Making them work for you is a choice that only feels scary the first time you say no. 

You have total control, whether you realize it or not.

Taking care of everyone else BUT YOU ends right now. No more being the martyr, hoping someone will rescue you, waiting to be admired for all that you’ve sacrificed. 

No one is coming because no one can save you. You are in charge of you.  

Oh, and by the way – the rules are all made up. Break them anytime you like. It’s your choice to live like this. 

Choose to take control.

Want some help putting this into action?

I don’t work with everyone. But if you are:

  • an online businesswoman who is tired of living for everyone else and ready to take radical action to get past your fears and hangups.

  • ready to do the work it takes to make the changes you know you need.

  • ready to invest in yourself to get expert help.

  • know you’re struggling with who you are and lack confidence, which is keeping you from upleveling and getting consistent clients.

  • Are aware you’re keeping yourself stuck, and ready to fix this NOW.

  • ready for change & willing to face your issues. Committed to doing the work, being prepared, and going all in.


I have a 12 week 1:1 program available to you. We work together, you get personal attention and support on weekly calls,  plus unlimited access through email.

The investment starts at $10,000. If you’d like to talk about how to work together, reply to this email – erin@erinkmonaghan.com.  I have a short form for you to fill out to see if we’re a good fit.


P.S. This program is designed to dramatically shift how you see yourself. You will be unrecognizable in your confidence and ability to show up in your business. You walk away with the tools to no longer care what anyone thinks about you, giving you the freedom to be and do whatever you want.

P.P.S. If you keep going at it alone, you’re not only wasting time and money doing it wrong, but you’re reinforcing those bad habits even more. I’m here to free you from not just being stuck in business, but being stuck in your entire life.

Join the exclusive discussion group!  

— Forget Them. Be YOU. —

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